I posted this entry on my profile at the www.29gifts.org website. If you wanna friend me or join me on what will prove to be an incredible journey, please check it out at: www.29gifts.org/profile/davidkav ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ DISCLAIMER: This May end up to be one of the longest blog posts I have ever written. However, after you are done reading this, I really hope you understand as to why. PREFACE (to the day:) Back in 2003, I was involved in a project at the Chicago Shakespeare Theatre. My friend, Tom, was a tech hand at the theatre. For one night, the artistic director let all of her tech designer and production staff have an evening where they presented their works - whether it be through directing pieces, performing their own written pieces, producing works through other companies, and so on. Tom had asked me to be one of two people involved in a piece that he was directing. I was the male character in a piece called "The Interrogation." A lot of fun and it was a privilege and an honor to be part of such a piece and to perform at such a prestigious location as part of the project (it was in the studio theatre. But, nonetheless...) Anyhow, I was on my way to the theatre for a rehearsal. In trying to make my connection from one train to another, I realized that I had lost my cell phone. It must've fallen out of my pocket while I was running. I was REALLY bad at being late at this time in my life. This day would have been no exception. I got off of the train RIGHT away. I raced back to U.I.C. (my school at the time) to see if it was there. No luck. I walk back to the station and go down the ramp in disgust. I am fuming at this point. As I'm walking on the platform, I am approached by a man passing out literature. I REALLY don't want what he's offering and I am brewing in resentment and anger because I know he's about to approach. "God bless you! Accept God in your life?" His hand is extended with the pamphlet in hand. I snatch it up from him. "God bless...." A second later, I threw it down on the ground. "HEY!" he yells. I am fuming even more. I give him the dirtiest look I could muster. "HEY, pick that up." I stop dead in my tracks. I was ready to punch him. "PICK THAT UP! I pay money for that." I bend down - comply and put it harshly back into his hand. I walk away (I can't recall if I kicked the garbage can and cursed at the top of my lungs. It wouldn't have surprised me either way. I must've done something for the following to have happened.) "Hold on, man. Come back here a minute." "I'm in no mood," I tell myself. I do so begrudgingly. "Hey, man. I'm sorry about that. I am responsible for this literature. You know what I'm saying? Hey man - I feel the need to tell you this. I feel this is a message from God deep down from my heart. Look - I don't what's goin' on, or what's happenin' in your life. What I do know is this: God loves you, unconditionally. And, if you accept him, in your heart, you'll know it...you'll feel it. Whatever's happenin', that's the Devil, tryin' to steal your joy. He'll always be there - tryin' to do so. Don't let the Devil run your life. Know that God Wants you to have a good life. Don't let the Devil mess with you, man." This stopped me dead in my tracks. As he was talking, the words, "...Devil stealing your joy..." echoed through my head. "You know what? Thank you. I really needed to hear that." I state and I shake his head. He shakes my hand and says, while shaking his head, "I don't know What it is. BUT - I do know...that this, too, shall pass. It always does. Look, I wish you love, and light. God bless you, alright?" My train was approaching at that point. "God bless you. And thank you." I get on the train and get on my way to rehearsal. That little exchange didn't help the situation that I lost my phone. It did, however, clear my head. The rest of the day, after that, turned around in an instant. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Today got off to a horrible start. For one thing, I didn't go into Potbelly today. I blew it off. I was not looking forward to playing two hours for people who seem unwanting nor did I want another exchange from potential employees who don't respect their superiors nor pay attention to customers. I don't know What will happen next week. However, that's neither here nor there at this point. Also, I had received a very nosy message regarding relationships issues between Beth Ann and me the night before. This was from someone I hadn't talked to in a Very Long time. I kindly told her, with tact, to "butt out." However, it really wrecked my serenity. The lesson here: Don't go to bed angry. So, I wrote a song instead for FAWM. :) Along with no Potbelly, I get this text from someone who read my blog the day before - someone whose words I take very much to heart. This did Not help my day start - at all: "Idea for your giving...(totally selfish)..." This hurt - a LOT. I mean - A LOT! I took some time to respond. But, I eventually did. "Are you talking about my blog?" "Yes for the blog..." "...Well, I can't change yesterday. Now I resent that I may have to start over." "What? I haven't read the last couple of days." "The idea behind giving for 29 Days," I replied, "is that you give with gratitude and not with obligation behind it. If u skip a day, you're supposed to start over. If my reasoning was selfish, by that rationale, I have not given with selflessness." "How did you [mess] up?" "By being selfish. Yes. I admit. There were selfish motives behind the gift. However, I thought that giving to the band was a good enough gesture regardless." "I think you are getting in your own way." (For the record, I KNOW I have that problem and I can NOT disagree with that.) Another text came in from that person that stated: "Perfection is unobtainable. And if you are doing this to check a box that you did 29 days, that's b.s. too. Give cause you know in time it will help you. And in the meantime it helps others. Let go of the rules. All giving is selfish." At the end of this last text, I wanted to shout back (but kept this to myself - or rather, I vented to poor Beth Ann...) "Then if all giving is selfish, we DIDN'T NEED THAT EXCHANGE OR SAID INSULT AT THE BEGINNING IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!" I was venting to Beth Ann that I was Not looking forward to this rehearsal for Classical Blast's show tonight since my bandmate would, most likely, rip me a new one since I can't seem to "get it right." Also, I missed Potbelly. I didn't do Morning Pages (yet again. Yay, Free Friday!) I have a photoshoot that I volunteered my time for the next day BEFORE my 2nd show with CB at Embassy Suites in Rosemont. AND, I was, most likely, going to be late for this rehearsal. "What can I do?" Beth Ann asks. "Nothing," I bellow. "Just have to get ready and go." "David," she says in a calm voice. "You are Hell bent in being miserable and in having a bad day. You are going to rehearsal and then you are going to have a gig. You LOVE playing with these guys." "I don't know." I state while storming and getting ready at the same time. "I mean, the scary thing is, the job is much better these days...because...I know what to expect...It's routine. EVEN if I have a problem with some guests, I make fun of them, blow off steam and move on. With these gigs, there's so much tension, work..." "David," she says. "You're going to be fine. You're gonna Have a good evening. It's gonna be a great show... You'll see. I'll say a prayer for you, ok? I really wish I could be there." (She was staying home due to her illness.) She kisses me softly. This melts me a bit - but not fully. I call Petar to tell him I'm going to be late. He's ok with it. I'm not. If you remember, I HATE being late. But, nonetheless: I leave, get $20 for the expensive cab ride I'm about to endure, hail one and I'm off. As I tweeted in the cab: "You'd think, after all of these years in Chicago, that I'd have learned by now! F@#$!" #angrytweet #thatisall" I would end up showing up to his house 30 minutes late. I walk up the stairs. Petar emerged from the bathroom in his robe. He just got out of the shower. "Traffic...sucks...a@@!" "Yeeeah." He states. "Yeah. I should've known better. Especially on Friday afternoons." "Well, no worries," he states as he's rummaging through the bathroom. "I overslept. And, Alin's not even here yet." "HA!" I tell and laugh at myself. "And," I say to myself, "I'm worried about what?" I already knew - as the ice in my heart was melting, that Beth Ann would be right - yet again. As he's getting dressed, I pull out my sheet music for the tunes we were going to rehearse. We discuss the basic music stuff, "what key is the song in? How many times does that riff vamp? Is that range too high for you? Can you hit those notes?" etc. etc. etc. I'm already feeling better. Alin shows up 20 minutes later. My guitar is out. Alin tunes his violin and we go through a few tunes. One tune was knocked out in 30 seconds (only worked on one section.) Easy. The other tune we went through a couple of times. Then, we hit the speed bump: We had talked about introducing some Michael Jackson into our repertoire - especially for those gigs that will require some dance music. So, we decided on "Beat It" and "Smooth Criminal." We worked out "Smooth Criminal" a bit. However, there were some problems with the former tune. All I'll say is what I said out loud, "I'm thankful it wasn't only me." I laugh. After a bit of work, we looked at the clock and realized we had to get going. Petar was going to pick up some people who were going to attend the show this evening. So, I was going to ride with Alin. Before leaving Alin states, "By the way, could you learn how we pack up cables so that it's not always Petar and me doing it? I mean - you do help...but not unless I ask you. Just asking if you could, you know..." I was taken aback - yet again. This time, I bit my lip a bit and say, "I thought I was helping enough. Apparently not. Sorry. Ok. Sure." We load up our respective vehicles with the equipment for tonight's show. In moments, we are off. Alin starts out right away in order to avoid the "elephant in the room." "By the way, I'm sorry about that comment..." "No, no. Don't worry. You're right. I should help out more. Truth be told," I would go on to confess, "I'm just letting other things get to me. I like to joke a lot and call them high-class problems." "I just believe, you know, it's best to say things at first. It might hurt at first BUT....it gets easier as time goes on, you know?" "Oh, absolutely!" I say. "I totally agree. Communication is key." During the car ride, we go on to talk about possible songs, our jobs, work, money, life, etc. At one point, we're silent. I was pre-occupied because I was determined to NOT miss the gift-giving that I was going to do today. Since our gig was going from 9pm to midnight, I was afraid that I'd miss the day altogether. Then I'd Really have to start over. That, in my mind, would be completely unacceptable. I've come this far already. I think to myself about the old organizations that I had raised money for during past gigs. JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) was one I raised money for a bit. That was proving to be a potential gift. To back-track, while I was in the cab on the way to practice, I had called Beth Ann to apologize for my demeanor before leaving. "It's ok." she said. "Look, I'll say a prayer for you and just know that I'm thinking about you, ok?" "I know," I'd state. "It just sucks. This traffic is horrible. And, to top it all off, I really have no idea what I'm going to give today. I'm worried that today will Completely be out of obligation, you know?" "I'm sure," she replies, "that as the day goes on, you will find things and the opportunity will present itself." Again, Beth Ann, you are right - always. Back to the car ride with Alin: We are approaching Oak Park. Alin takes side streets to avoid the potentially heavy Friday night traffic. He succeeds greatly. "Wow," I said. "It's 7:30pm. Load-in is at 8pm. We've got a bit of time." "Yeah, I know," he says. We both look over to our left inside the venue. It is PACKED! "There's nowhere for us to put our stuff, anyway, at this time. And we are early." I say. "Well, I was thinking of getting a sandwich. What about you? You hungry?" "You know what," I say. "Yeah - I am." "I'm looking up on my phone," he says. "I've never been to this one place. Have you ever been to Five Guys?" "Five Guys? I LOVE that place. Man, Beth Ann and me eat there quite a bit. Although it's been a LONG time! Man, maybe about a year now. Is there one near by?" "The phone says there's one near Dragon Lounge." (DL is a venue that we've played in the past.) "That's RIGHT!" I shout. "And it's really close by. I know how to get there from here. Dude, let's go. By the way, dinner's on me tonight." He laughs, "No, you don't have to." I laugh back, "I KNOW I don't have to. I want to. Not to mention this is your first Five Guys experience. You got me excited now. I warn you though - this food is heavy." Anyone who's eaten at Five Guys KNOWS this is true. The burgers and fries are excellent. But- MAN - they pack a punch weight-wise. We order our food. We have to wait a bit since they make it fresh. I grab the bag and we race to the venue. We find a parking lot before we find a place to park. We eat the food. I ask Alin, "So, what do you think?" He takes a minute to digest his bite. "It's very good! Thanks for the sandwich." "My pleasure. Glad you like it." "I tried to call Petar. Maybe he wants some food before we start." I try calling his cell phone after Alin does. No answer. "There must be no service in there since it's crowded," I state. "I'll run in and grab him." I find Petar and snatch him. He eats a few bites on Alin's burger. We inhale the fries and get RIGHT to parking and setting up. I get finished with sound-check. I do a couple of songs solo on the guitar and on the mic for Petar to check the balance. I take the guitar off and am situating the rest of my stuff. Out of the corner of my right eye, an older woman comes up to me. "David?" she asks. "Yes, that's me." "Hi, I'm Linda. You don't know me..." "Hi, nice to meet you. What can I do for you?" (Now here's the odd thing - I SWEAR TO YOU: I had a feeling that it had SOMETHING to do with the 29-Day Giving Challenge. But, I'll let Linda clarify that:) "Hi, you don't me. I found you through the 29-Day website. I've read your blogs. I love them. I've read a lot of your prolific blogs. They exhaust me to read at times." I laugh heartily at this. "They're exhausting to write." "I'll bet. Well, anyway, I came tonight because I knew you would be here. I wanted to give you these gifts and to hear your band tonight." She gives me 2 envelopes along with a loaf of chocolate chip banana bread. "That's for you and for Beth Ann," she says, "The other two things you don't need to look at right now. You can read them in your own time." "Wow, thank you! That's very nice, very thoughtful of you. So, I have to ask," (it was burning inside of me.) "You read my blogs?" "Yes." "Did you read my blog from yesterday?" "Yep." "Did you....think my gift yesterday...was selfish." She had to think about it. But she replied, "no. Not at all. Why?" "Just curious...someone told me it was." "Who?" I take a minute to think about my response. "It's not important. I'm just curious, since you read them what you thought..." I quickly change the subject with an absolute truth. "Thank you for these lovely gifts. It's so nice to meet you. I needed this. Truly. Thank you. Linda, right?" "Yes," she says with the warmest smile. "Please tell me you're staying," I ask. "Oh, yes. My friends and I are in the back. We're just finishing up dinner and we're gonna come out here to listen to you. But, I just wanted to say 'hi' and give you the gifts and introduce myself." "Your friends are in the back?" I ask. "Yeah, you want...?" She was a bit reluctant but I prod. "Yeah. You guys came out. Let's meet them." I walk in the back room. She jokes, "See, I have TWO dates tonight." I laugh. "These are two people whom I've not met until now. Now, I know a LOT about them. "You'll find," she adds, "as you go on in this journey, that you'll have a lot more of these types of experiences. I started my first 29-Day Giving Challenge back in December 2010. It has, and still does, transform my life more and more as the day goes on." I nod. "Ok." My heart is brimming with joy and gratitude at this point. She introduces me to her friend, Edward Garrity (he introduced himself with his first and his surname.) I forget the other person's name as I write this. I feel bad since I ask him two times. I thank them profusely for coming out. "Well, I have to get back. We're about to start. But, thank you so much." "I know - you think it's weird, right?" "No no no," I insist. "It's not that. I just wish I had more time since I'm intrigued by all of this. So, I feel bad that I have to leave like this. But, I'm sure we'll talk at the end. Thanks again for the gifts...and thanks so much for coming." I'm losing steam in writing this blog. So, I'll abridge the rest. The gig was Epic. EPIC. People, including my manager, were dancing in the middle of the room by 11pm (one hour to go before the end of the gig.) We wrap it up. I make it to the very end of the gig before I break a string (I usually break 2 or 3, on average, per show. So, this is a record.) We play an encore - me with only 5 strings. "Hotel California" went off with no hitch sans the missing string. I greet the crowd and say goodbye to Linda. "Well, my friend is exhausted. But, we enjoyed this so much!" "We really did. You guys were great!" Says Edward. "Thank you. Thank you ALL for coming out. REALLY good to meet you. So..." I turn to Linda, "are we friends on 29-Gifts? How do I find you?" With all of her charm and charisma, she looks over her shoulder and says, "you'll find me." She walks away. "How? Should I look for you?" That was it. I'm intrigued - still very much so as I write this. Fast forward: My manager, Barbara, was kind enough to give me a ride home. Her two friends whom she's known for a LONG time live so close to me it's not even funny. With that in mind, Barbara offered the ride right away since I don't have a car. With much gratitude, I accept. I come home. Beth Ann calls from the bedroom. "Hello," she says cutely. "Hi!" "You didn't call." She called me during the gig at the prime hour of 11pm. She sounds pathetic. I rush to get my jacket off and run into the room. "I'm sorry. I...we were really at the height of our set when you called. Plus- I was saying goodbyes. PLUS - my voice was extremely tired. I've got to tell you though - you were right." "How was the gig?" "Incredible." "Told you so." She looked at me - smiling with both her eyes and her mouth. I kiss her. I tell Beth Ann about Linda. I tell her that the bread is for both of us. Her eyes light up at this aspect. I also open up the envelopes while at home. Let me take this opportunity to say: Thank you, Linda, for the gift card from Dunkin' Donuts. Means much more since, the ONLY way she could've made the connection was through my blog. In fact - the caption above the card read: "Coffee? More Hash Browns? It's up to you." ;) I'll close with what is even more touching. Linda shares something very deep with me in the second envelope. It is of a journal entry that she wrote on This Very Website back on Dec. 25, 2010. I'm sure if you go to Linda's Page, you'll still find it there. It is a beautiful piece about spreading the word of the importance of becoming an organ donor. Yes, Linda. You moved Beth Ann and myself to make sure that we will become them. I read the piece, out loud, to Beth Ann. It wasn't until I got to the last page and I saw the sentence at the top of the page. I stopped reading this dead in my tracks. "What? What's wrong?" Beth Ann asks. In reading this very touching story, it's the next character that stops me from shock. I read the sentence carefully to Beth Ann. "A month later, Edward Garrity, MD, associate director of transplantation services and professor of medicine, came running...." I look at Beth Ann. "Do you recognize that name?" She nods. "I met him tonight. Had absolutely no idea." I Knew when I started this challenge that there would be some surprises. Never have I ever thought... I will say this: This is Way beyond my wildest dreams! My heart is full! Thank you, Beth Ann, Linda, the Universe, and everyone for helping me shield myself against the Devil. I have reclaimed my joy because of you! :)