I posted this entry on my profile at the www.29gifts.org website. If you wanna friend me or join me on what will prove to be an incredible journey, please check it out at: www.29gifts.org/profile/davidkav +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ So, this day started out in sadness and frustration for, yet, another high-class problem. I woke up around 1:15PM after my usual snooze-button war. I had a slew of texts and Facebook messages on my phone from the morning. I found that I had only one text message this morning, however. Even though we're supposed to roll "out of bed and onto the Morning Pages," something told me to look at the text before anything else. It's a text from one of my best friends, Tom: "Are you doing the marathon? Registration closes today!! That was quick!" He is talking about the 2012 Bank of America Chicago Marathon on Sunday, October 7, 2012. I have run 2 marathons (2009 and 2010.) I signed up for last year's marathon but skipped out on it due to lack of training. It was also another 80-degree day (which didn't fare well with me in 2010 - at all - when it reached 80 degrees that day as well.) Both times, very unseasonable weather. It was that marathon that made me shake my head and makes me wonder as to HOW ANYONE could run a marathon in Florida or anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon Line. My hats off to those who do run long distances (especially marathons and higher) in such weather! That date: October 10, 2010 - the single, most painful experience of my life (and this includes Basic Training in Fort Jackson, SC.) I was in the U.S. Army from 1998 to 2001.) I had neck cramps that day. With that being said, in hindsight, I did promise myself that I would not run the marathon if the weather was like it was back in 2010. So, I did keep my promise to myself despite the resentment I had for not doing so. (I must mention that October 9, 2011 was also the date I had a brunch meeting with Petar, the cellist and my manager, Barbara from my group, Classical Blast. So, I must've made the right choice, right?) ;) So, today's edition of Morning Pages was going back and forth as to whether or not I should run this year's marathon. There was still Plenty of time to train for it. I could pull it off and get myself over the lasting memory of the heat exhaustion and cramps that I had from the last race. However, the registration fee is $150 (which I don't readily have.) That would be the beginning of many expenses (new Expensive shoes, power gels, power bars, countless Gatorade, etc.) I also would tick off Beth Ann since I KNOW in her heart of hearts that she doesn't want me to run another one. At the end of my Pages, I had stated that I would run it. However, this was not to be done without discussing it with Beth Ann first. I finished today's installment and talk with her (she was still home. Her classes today started around the same time that my job would today.) "So, I made a decision. I needed to talk with you about it. I spent 95% of Morning Pages going back and forth as to whether or not I should run the marathon." "Ok." "I know that you're not happy with me running another marathon. But, I thought about it. It really wouldn't take up as much time as you say it would. I wouldn't need to start training now. I could chart it out and I could follow it to the "T" just like I have been with Morning Pages and with the Giving Challenge. I believe that my problem last year stemmed from the fact that I was in a new job and wasn't used to it. But, I am used to it now. I think it would also be motivation to keep running and to stay in shape as well. So..." She looked and me and said, "David, it's not that I don't want you to do it. Whatever you decide to do, I'll support you. However, with everything that you want to do, the marathon will take time to train and would interfere with other areas that you want to improve. If you want your career to take off, you have to make sacrifices. I also believe that you may be running the marathon for the wrong reasons. You've already proven to yourself that you can do it. You don't need to prove it again." I knew, deep down, that she was right. I had changed my mind. On my way to work, I texted my friend, Tom, back with this message: "I've thought long and hard about it and it isn't easy for me. I don't think I'm doing it. Costs too much And it would mean I'd have to make sacrifices in other areas that I'm not sure I want to, ya know? It's going to sting that I'm not doing it. No doubt." I got off of the train. (Yes, the Train! I didn't take a taxi to work today! I rejoice in that!) I made it to work and open my e-mail. In a message stamped at 2:08PM CST, I come to find out that the 2012 Bank of America Chicago Marathon has closed in record time!! Just last year, it closed in 2 to 3 weeks. The registration opened on February 1st (only 5 days ago!) I still feel regret and resentment (that's the overachiever and perfectionist in me. I know.) However, the Morning Pages, the talk with Beth Ann, the wishy-washiness of my decision, and the quick turn-around for registration: I take those ALL as signs. Tell the Universe I got the message MANY times over. ;) I go through my work day (which, surprisingly enough for early February was steadily busy today. This is GREAT for business and the fact that I have a job. No doubt.) With the fact that we had a huge group of 20 check into the hotel today and the questions and reservations pouring in for March and the beginning of our peak season, it was hard to get an extraneous thought in at all. But, of course, the thought was, "what could today's gift possibly be?" I started with a couple of phone calls to my brother in response to a text message of his. He is a computer wiz and asked me if I wanted some cool app gadgetry on my phone (couldn't understand it to be totally honest. Also, what better excuse to call him than that?) I had to call him back a couple of times since the phones were constantly busy. That felt a little too shabby for a fruitful gift. BUT - I'm glad I did call him. My 2nd cousin just had surgery today to remove a tumor that was found in her breast. She texted me and let me know that she was home. This was around 4:30. I hadn't a chance to text her back and she did state that she may be sleeping. I risked a call, anyway. Naturally, no luck. It wasn't until I got back from my break that my supervisor opened a tied plastic bag in front of me. "Do you..." he stated, "...want .... what IS this...?" I looked in the bag and there was two plastic "to-go" boxes inside. It took me two seconds to recognize the cylindrical crusted pastry and to see the cream-filled with pistachio-green nuts inside to know, "That's a cannoli. You ever have one?" "Nah. I'm a picky eater." He moves the box on top to reveal the tiramisu (which is my FAVORITE Italian dessert.) "Umm, you want both of these? I don't want 'em. A guest gave them to me and I'm not gonna eat them." "Sure!" It's a no-brainer. If there's one thing that I learned early on about Beth Ann: She's a sucker for and LOVES Cannolis! I like them - but not as much as she does. I thanked Gavin for his gift and I do know that it'll be a gift to me to have my tiramisu while she has her cannoli this evening while watching our evening installment of "Everybody Loves Raymond" and/or our new show "Switched At Birth." (We recently got into the latter since she was drawn to it due to the subject matter and the fact that does contain American Sign Language. I must admit - the writing and the subject matter about deaf people and modern culture is quite gripping.) Regardless, I'm looking forward to giving my gift of a cannoli to Beth Ann and to share our evening together. :)